Week 2 of Joe and Josh's Dragon Age Adventure story with our "adventurous" lass Elissa. We started the evening where we left off last week, bad mouthing Duncan the Grey Warden and basically whining about not getting to fight. After questioning Duncan and Arl Howe (who is obviously a sneaky, no-good bastard) we wandered off to look for Fergus, our brother, as our father requested. As we were traipsing about the castle, we ran into Sir Gilmore, who was looking for us like a pageboy to deliver a message from our mother. Apparently, our puppy, a Mabari War Dog, was in the larder being a puppy and destroying things. With Gilmore in tow, we accidentally ran into our mother, who was entertaining some shrew, her son, and her son's lady-in-waiting. The shrew might have been a drunken dullard, but we know that when a "lady-in-waiting" wanders off to the study with the son when the "Lady" decides to take a nap that something is going on. Mother was very firm about us taking care of the dog situation before finding Fergus, so we went in search of the kitchens.
Having found the kitchens and put on a strip show for Nan, the baker and her two elven servants, we go into the larder with Gilmore to see our wayward dog Kawai. Kawai, in typical Kawai fashion, is spinning in circles and alternating between peeing and licking himself. He must have been thirsty. Due to a wardrobe malfunction, we had entered the larder clad in nothing but a sword, shield and underpants and now rats were attacking! In a stunning show of ferocity, we chopped the rats into bloody giblets. Gilmore's lack of reaction to our glorious, blood spattered body made us suspect that it wasn't likely that any of the servant girls would be visiting his bedchamber. We began to believe that his interest in Sir Duncan might be something other than purely professional. After some sharp words to the cowardly elven servants and the distraught baker, we donned our leather studded armor and left to find Fergus with Kawai, our remarkably unintelligent sidekick.
Later, we wandered into Fergus' quarters to find him chatting with his wife and son. We were bored by the professions of adoration shared between Fergus and his wife, and didn't hesitate to sigh and let it be known. Fergus, ever playful, said we would understand when we someday met a man, and we retorted that it would take at least three. Fergus' wife had plenty of advice at this point on how to keep this sort of tryst a secret, and the speed at which she came up with this caused us to suspect there might be an entertaining story behind it. Soon after, father and mother joined us in wishing Fergus a speedy trip to the battlefield at Ostagar with the king. Afterwards, we all went to bed and prepared for a new day.
While we were sleeping and dreaming of two chicks at the same time, or possibly something violent involving spoons and boiling oil (I can't remember exactly), we were abruptly awakened by pounding on the door. We flashed out of bed and started looking for armor and weapons to put on. Finding nothing, the door flew open, a guard yelled "Arl Howe's men are attacking the castle", and the guard was promptly shot in the back with an arrow leaving blood all over the place. Having just taken a bath to remove all of the sticky blood, this was very annoying and we proceeded to bash the murderer's head in with our bare hands. We then remembered where we had put our armor and quickly got suited up. Fully outfitted, we starting bashing in heads (and minds) and generally letting our visitors in the residential quarter know exactly what we thought of being awoken early. Just as we finished clearing out the hallway, our mother burst in the front door clad in armor and started talking about escaping. Fortunately, after Kawai finished leaving a "present" in the corner, and consuming said present, he nosed open the last door to find Fergus' wife and son slain. This seemed to change the mind of our mother, and she demanded a sword. Since we didn't want to give up our 2nd sword, we gave her a club and headed out for more Howe bashing. We chopped through Howe guards like a wolverine through a nest of baby rabbits on our way to the great room to look for our father. Once we arrived there, we found Sir Gilmore organizing the defense and keeping the doors barred. We left him to his own devices and went back to the kitchens for a snack and to continue the search for father at the secret servant's entrance in the larder.
After a refreshing roast beef and swiss on rye with a plate of cookies, we went into the larder to look for a cold beer to finish off the snack. As we opened to door, we saw our father lying in a pool of his own blood and wheezing. Mother rushed to his aid and we were exhorted to exact vengeance upon the Arl Howe and his house. About this time, Duncan made his way into the larder (apparently this secret passageway isn't very secret) and told father that he would escort us to the King at Ostagar in exchange for his permission to ask us to join the Grey Wardens. Vengeance seemed like the better option, but Duncan was not to be denied and we accepted the offer of a place in the Wardens. We can respect a man who is willing to stick it to a dying father in order to gain a recruit for his cause. Mother elected to stay behind and "defend" father until her dying breath. That certainly seemed like a waste, but we suppose she is a grown woman and is capable of making her own terrible emotional decisions.
We accompanied Duncan to Ostagar, where King Cailan Theirin met us at the gate. We reported the death of our father and extracted a promise to see justice done. Having a contumacious attitude, we asked what specifically he was planning to do, and the king replied that Arl Howe would hang. With vengeance taking a back seat for the moment, we were forced to deal with the "secret rite" that is apparently required of all Grey Warden initiates. Duncan wouldn't give us any details at first, just directed us towards the camp and told us he would meet us at the Grey Warden fire when we were ready. This seemed like a good chance to pass off some of the loot we had stripped from the dead Howe bodies at the castle, so we went in search of the quartermaster. Finding him holed up in a dark corner of the camp, we sold him everything we weren't considering using in the future, and started wandering about. We met Wynne, an obviously disturbed mage of some sort, another mage who seemed to be even more crazy, and some guards who wouldn't allow us to pickpocket some mages who were standing about while in "The Fade". Apparently "The Fade" is the world we visit when we dream, and it has bad things in it that can affect everyone else. Bad magic and evil monsters lurk there. Luckily, we are not a mage and probably won't go crazy. If we ever happen to visit The Fade, it appears that everyone there will be easy pickings if these mages are any indication. After dropping a vial of fire ants into that non-opportunistic guard's armor, we went in search of other oddities. We happened upon a goofy looking armored fellow and yet another mage having an amusing conversation in an abandoned courtyard. The mage soon wandered off in a huff, and we met Alistair, the newest of the Grey Wardens. Alistair is a bit of a noob, and it shows. Apparently he was training to become a mage-killer and that seems to bother the mages. As we chatted with Alistair, he claimed to have knowledge of the secret Grey Warden ritual, but would not share, so we took off back to camp with him in tow to find Duncan.
After arriving back at camp, we talked to Duncan and he introduced us to Daveth and Jory, who happen to also be initiates for the Grey Wardens. They both look to be kinda slow and probably dense. No one is explaining this ritual yet, but Duncan would like us to go into The Wilds, an evil place filled with dark spawn and rats, and collect vials of dark spawn blood and raid an old Grey Warden building for some old scrolls. I think we are going to take a nap first since we just got here from the castle.
This is the point we stopped playing for the evening. I think our character is shaping into a pretty decent one, although Kawai continues to be more interested in consuming his own waste and humping tree stumps than helping in our adventures. Tune in next week for more adventures with Elissa!
- Joe and Josh
- Joe and Josh
